Happy Valentine's Day to ME!
Do you remember when you were in school and you were of that age when you knew what Valentine’s Day was about? Well technically I don’t think we knew, all we knew was that boys told girls they liked them with a card, flowers and or chocolates. I remember when that day would come, it was a pressurised day for some. You always knew the popular girls were going to get a Valentine’s Day card, you had hope that you might get one too, if you were one of those girls that wasn’t going to get one you felt sad that no one “liked” you. I didn’t always get a Valentine’s Day card, but on the odd couple of occasions when I did I smiled and I was so happy, let’s face it we all like to be told that we are liked. When you were at school you probably didn’t understand, but now that you are older you do, you don’t need confirmation from others about how great you are, you only need that from you.
It’s great that people with partners buy flowers and chocolates for each other on the day, although I would argue to say buy the gifts out of love on any day. On the other hand, it also seems to be a day where people celebrate love, the one thing that the whole world can agree on and needs more of! The strange thing about Valentine’s Day is that there are a couple of different schools of thoughts or stories behind it, and each one would make you change your prospective on it leaving you at different ends of the spectrum. One suggests a romantic love affair where the night before his death St Valentine wrote a letter to his beloved and he signed off as “Your Valentine”. I’ve given you a cliff note version there, but it has a good message, right? Tell someone you love them. The second, a bit more unsettling. Apparently, men celebrated a festival called Lupercalia where they would sacrifice a goat and a dog, then take the hard skin of the animals and hit women with it which was supposed to make them fertile. The men would then pick a woman’s name out of a jar and give her a note with a compliment on it, he would then have sex with her throughout the festival. That doesn’t sound too romantic or full of love hey?! If anything, it’s shocking and makes me thankful we aren’t in those times any more. The romantic in me would like to believe the first story and celebrate love, the feminist in me would celebrate women and woman power in the latter story, either way each story seems to have a different message, so therefore, I cannot help but think isn’t Valentine’s just a bunch of bollox? Shouldn’t you show the person you love that you love them every day in some small way?
I’m not hating on this day or wishing I had someone, I am truly happy that I’m on the opposite side this time. I am not in a relationship where I am unhappy, tied down, logging in, logging out, making stupid decisions, missing out on travel, not seeing friends, being in pain, being the grown up, being forced to buy a stupid card that says words that don’t mean shit. It feels utterly awesome during Valentine’s Day for me to say to myself, “I am my Valentine”. The great thing is I trust me, I’m not going anywhere and I know I will always keep me happy. I’m not saying it’s not great to be in a relationship, if it’s the right one and you are happy then of course it’s awesome, but I want those of you who might be feeling slightly unhappy about having no Valentine to embrace the freedom you have whilst being single.
If you feel sad that you don’t have that someone then look to yourself, you have the time to find out more about you. We get so caught up with work and what society wants we become robotic, so, stop and think what is it that you love about you? What is it that you love to do? What is it that you want to do? Go and do everything YOU want to do, because most of the time when you become a couple you start to compromise, and that’s fine because you most likely might want to; but until you are a couple stop wasting time thinking I want to be with someone and enjoy the love you should have for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself or having pity for yourself for not finding the “right” one is unattractive and quite frankly pathetic. Fill your life with your own joy!
A lot of people like to get the gifts, well if I really want flowers then I’ll go buy them! If I really want chocolate, which to be fair I just had yesterday, I’ll go and buy that too. As for the sexy underwear, well if I want that I can buy that for myself too, but I tend to prefer comfortable pants nowadays. There is no rule to say you cannot be your own Valentine or that you cannot buy yourself gifts. If you don’t love you then chances are no one else will love you how you deserve to be loved.
Some of you may have just broken up with someone, some of you may be single for weeks, months, years or even decades; I sympathise and empathise with you all, we’ve all been there and trust me you are not alone. I know it sounds cliché but perhaps you need to master the art of you first. So, for all those people who have no partners this Valentine’s, I dare you to be your own Valentine. If you really want those gifts go get them for yourself, you don’t need someone else to buy them for you. Think about how happy you are that you are not in a bullshit relationship and celebrate being your own Valentine, maybe meet up with your family or friends and celebrate love, it comes in all forms, and technically Valentine’s is about telling people you love them, so tell people you love them, it doesn’t have to be a lover. Most importantly tell yourself you love you, because that is the greatest most rewarding love affair you could ever have. Happy Valentine’s Day!