Men

How many of you read the title with a bit of an eye roll and a negative tone? It’s so standard in society now for people to say the word men and hold negativity towards it. There is no secret to the fact that women have always spoken out to their friends and family about how a man treated her bad, but what about the men that treat her well?

So many will say the term “right man”, well what constitutes as the right man? Loyal, funny, good looking, caring, kind, compassionate, romantic, generous, thoughtful the list is endless. Yet we all know there is no such thing as a perfect man, in fact there is no such thing as a perfect person for what we all deem to be perfect is also not the same. Times have now changed so much and women have made such progress in the world that we have forgotten about men. Some would say men may have gone backwards, there’s a lack of chivalry, manners, gentlemen like behaviour, wining and dining; yet on the other hand there has been progress in that some of them are more sensitive, take time to groom themselves, they are house trained, have no issues talking about their emotions and feelings.

We are very good at remembering the ones that cheated, hurt, left, abused, used and in some way or another shattered a woman. What about the ones that have loved, cared, adored, supported and looked after a woman? The ones that will work with you to clean the house, make the dinner, do the school runs, do the washing, load the dishwasher. The ones that are independent, earn their own living being able to support a woman if she needed it, the ones that buy random gifts, organise surprises just because he wants to.

How about the single father? Who might be raising his children on his own and showers his children with all the love and affection he possibly can, whilst still being a bread winner and doing the house chores? Or the great husband who appreciates everything his wife does for him by giving her a foot rub or buying her flowers. The man who is a husband and understands that his home maker wife needs to get away sometimes and despite working a ten-hour shift will look after the children on a Friday night so she can go out with her girls. The man that comes to pick up his woman at 3am from the club she was at with her friends. The men that iron your clothes for you whilst you do your hair and make-up, the man that has got himself together and has created a foundation for himself.

Some women spend a lot of time talking about men and how they did them wrong, or how they are all the same, yet some of these same women are still in search for the “right man”. What if we stop thinking that they are all the same? Stop saying the word men with an eye roll and remember that they are not all the same, there are good ones out there. Perhaps the reason a good one hasn’t come along is because you don’t give him a chance to because you are already expecting him to be the wrong one? Let’s also not forget that all the hurt and pain a man can cause a woman can easily be caused by a woman to a man, they just don’t talk about it as much as women.

Society tells us that women are emotional and talk a lot, whilst men don’t talk about feelings and must “man up”. Men have been forced into conforming to what society tells them to conform into, the irony is because of that very force they sometimes can’t be the man they want to be and must “man up”. Men aren’t aliens, they have feelings, they have emotions, they also have the pressure of being the man and trying to be the “right man” and the “good man”.

Take a minute to think about the men in your life or some of the men you have met who were and perhaps still are wonderful men. Next time you have a conversation about men spend some time remembering and appreciating the good men in your life, be it your father, grandfather, brother, husband, boyfriend, colleague or friend. There are almost 3.5 billion men in the world, it’s highly unlikely they are all bad. Remember that even though society may have made it hard for women they have learned to break the barriers down, men have their own stereo type to fulfill and being everything a man should be per society is harder than just being the man he is. Celebrate the good man, tell him he is a good man, for any man who is a good man will never expect to be told he is a good man.